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Follow Your Bliss

March 11, 2012 by Heather Burdick

Several years ago, one of the ladies in the church choir fixed me up on a blind date with a very handsome fire fighter. We exchanged pictures and information and both decided that we wanted to meet. But on our first date, he asked, “What do you do for fun?” I was totally unable to answer that question.  When I asked him what he did for fun, he listed a variety of things like going for bike rides with his daughter, going to parks, and working on hobbies. At the time, I was working two jobs, so when Saturday rolled around, my only day off, it was usually spent cleaning the house, buying groceries, mowing the lawn, and running errands.

In the clergy candidacy process, the committee  recommends contingencies for the candidate to complete each year to become a whole person with a balanced life.  When I told my pastor that one of the contingencies I was given was to “find something fun to do and do it,” he thought it was a “cake contingency.”  But they were wise.  It took me about 7 months to get started on that.

I guess I always thought that having a fulfilling vocation or working towards a degree was enough fun, but I realized that having fun really does lead to a fuller, more balanced life.  This was a beautiful spring break.  There was just the right amount of everything in it, the perfect balance of fellowship, recreation, and rest, and yes, still some work thrown in there.

My daughter and her puppy dog came up to visit and we had a delightful time. We had some girl time where we got massages, went for pedicures, did some shopping, and had some wonderful food.  There are so many great independent restaurants in Durham. I had a polenta burger at  Bull City Burger and Brewery and some comfort food at a long overdue visit to Elmo’s Diner. We walked through the Duke Gardens and went to Sunday worship at Duke Chapel.  We had lasagna and wine with some beautiful friends.

When my daughter went home, I spent a few days catching up and getting ahead with my school work. I took Gracie for long walks in nature. I finally saw The Artist one night, Sense and Sensibility with new friends another night, and watched Mama Mia over Greek food with old friends. I bought some delicious food from Trader Joe’s, got back to some vigorous exercise, engaged in centering prayer, and read a book for pleasure (it was still non-fiction though – maybe this summer I can read a novel without feeling like I should be learning something). I learned how to knit from one of the ladies in my Bible study group at Emerald Pond and when I stayed for dinner, I caught up with my old friend E.C, and met a delightful new person whose son-in-law is responsible for the beautiful choral music in the Duke Chapel.  Topping off the week was a drive to Franklinville to see my friend Sarah preach then a spinning class back at Duke.  I just love being back in daylight savings time.

What is my bliss? Something that has always been in the future is now in the present.  I love my family, my studies, my spiritual life, getting to know the beauty and delights of where I live, and the richness of the people around me.

Posted in Christian Life, Friendship, Inner Peace, Religion, Spirituality | Tagged , | 1 Comment »

Temptations in the Desert

March 5, 2012 by Heather Burdick

I didn’t give anything up for Lent this year.  I thought about it and prayed over it, but what I ultimately decided is that I usually fast from something to simulate some form of a “wilderness” experience. Since being in seminary is a wilderness of its own, I decided it’s best to just be aware of the wild beasts and temptations around me.

I have found all kinds of beasts.  When I decided to come to Duke it was the worship experience during my visit that led me here.  My heart was so full of joy, I couldn’t imagine any temptation that would keep me away from the fulfilling experience of chapel three times a week.  This is my sacred space, a place where I can rest in God’s presence. It turns out that there are a few temptations that had the power to turn my focus away from worship.

The beasts that diverted my attention were academic pride, self doubt, and stress over the “to do” list. A few weeks ago, I found myself missing chapel to study and stressing about not having enough time to do all of the work. Somehow my focus shifted from offering myself completely in worship to God, to serving the god (note the small g) of academics.  While I think it’s important to do my best work as a way of honoring God, there is something else that can creep in and it has nothing to do with honoring God and everything to do with pride and insecurity (wild beasts).

But luckily, in addition to all of the wild beasts and temptations, I also have quite a few angels in my wilderness experience.  My wonderful classmates are always supportive and willing to share their struggles and also their insights.  My spiritual director always knows exactly the right questions to ask to lead me to a fuller understanding of my walk with God. A good friend always has the right diversion, whether it is exercise, dinner, or a movie. My professors are delightful and wonderful people transforming my mind with the material they assign. My baby girls are always there for me.  I am always grateful for the support of my church family in Oviedo.

Last week, I reordered my priorities. I spent time in worship and fellowship and balanced it out with time studying.  I felt sort of a loaves and fishes abundance of time and energy that wasn’t there before, when I turned to my work.  In my tests on Friday I didn’t get stressed and I didn’t pray for good grades. I did pray before studying, though, that God would point me toward the things that I need to be equipped with to serve, which may or may not have resulted in A’s on the tests. We don’t always need the thing we think we need.

We have this week off from classes.  It’s not called Spring Break, but Reading Week, a better reflection of what will happen. I’ll have my head in the books for a lot of the week, but it is an important Lenten lesson to remember to put God at the center. Always.

Posted in Religion | 7 Comments »

Paul’s Not a Jerk After All

February 27, 2012 by Heather Burdick

The first thing that did when I experienced a renewal of faith a few years ago was to read the whole New Testament.  But, while I thought I was reading a book of answers, it turns out that the Bible produces more questions than answers.

One of my first reactions was that Paul was a jerk.  There were lots of sections that I just didn’t understand.  I learned the importance of studying in community and working through the Bible in a small group at church.  But still, over the years, I have put some of the writings of Paul up on a shelf because I haven’t always known what to do with him.

This week, Paul comes down from the shelf.  We were assigned this really great book  that lays some of the ways that Paul is misunderstood or misinterpreted and it is great to go forward into studying the writings of Paul with an open mind.  The book is Reading Paul by Michael J. Gorman.

One of the things that is really beautiful in this book is the description of the vertical act of loving God and the horizontal act of loving your neighbor, which makes the shape of a cross..

Here are some other things I underlined:

Because the gospel is about God’s dramatic, cosmic, benevolent intervention, it is not merely a message about personal salvation, as so many perversions of the gospel imply.  To be sure, Paul’s gospel calls individuals to a right relationship with God, but it calls them into a community where right relationships with God and with others – both insiders and outsiders  - are taught, learned, and practiced.”  Page 45

He quotes Bonhoeffer from The Cost of Discipleship on “cheap grace.”  He says that it “is the deadly enemy of our Church.”  It is “the justification of sin without the justification of the sinner.”  Gorman says that “Christians and churches face the temptations of cultural captivity, spirituality without discipleship or ethics, and knee-jerk nationalism…in which God is believed to be a kind of cosmic agent of salvation who requires little or nothing of the allegedly ‘saved’ or ‘blessed.’” P 111-112

If my recommendation isn’t good enough, here is one from Richard B. Hays, the Dean of Duke Divinity School:

This splendid introduction to the Apostle Paul is the best book of its kind; concise, wise, insightful, thoroughly conversant with the best recent scholarship, yet thoroughly clear and readable.  Against the numerous distorted preconceptions that occlude our reading of Paul, Gorman brilliantly sketches a picture of Paul’s gospel as a gracious, world transforming message of peace and reconciliation.  I will assign this as required reading for students in my introductory New Testament course and put it in the hands of as many pastors and laypeople as possible.”

Posted in Kingdom of God, Religion | Tagged , , | Leave a Comment »

Knowing the Whole Elephant

February 25, 2012 by Heather Burdick

The more I learn about the Bible and with every discussion of politics, I am more convinced that we really need each other to see the whole picture.

In the Bible, we just barely get into Genesis before we are faced with two different stories of creation.  Then for Christians reading the New Testament, there are 4 different accounts of the life of Jesus. For some, the idea is to find out which one is right.  For me, that totally misses the point, which is – we need to know everything we can from as many different perspectives as we can. It shows us that there is a bigger picture of truth out there that we can’t comprehend alone.

In politics people frequently say, “I can’t understand how this person can think that.”  This is generally followed by talk of that person being an idiot. But the understanding of a different perspective goes a long way toward finding the larger truth.

This story demonstrates how people can be right in their own truth and yet conflict with others with a different truth. One thing that it tells me is that fully knowing what is in front of me and being open to hearing what is in front of others is the best way for me to understand my faith and how it works with people who believe differently in the world.

Blind Men and the Elephant

poem by John Godfrey Saxe (1816–1887)

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind

Blind Men and the Elephant - Elephant

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the ElephantIs very like a wall!”

Blind Men and the Elephant - Wall

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, “Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ’tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!”

Blind Men and the Elephant - Spear

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a snake!

Blind Men and the Elephant - Snake

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,” quoth he;
” ‘Tis clear enough the ElephantIs very like a tree!”

Blind Men and the Elephant - Tree

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!”

Blind Men and the Elephant - Fan

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a rope!”

Blind Men and the Elephant - Rope

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

Blind Men and the Elephant - Wrong

Moral

So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!

Posted in Christian Life, Kingdom of God, Religion | Tagged , | Leave a Comment »

40 Days

February 21, 2012 by Heather Burdick

Tomorrow starts the season of Lent. Jesus spent 40 days getting in touch with the divine presence of God in him and denying the human side. Funny how we latch on to denying the human side and not so much of the getting in touch with the presence of God side.

I looked up this word the other day, because the meaning I thought it had didn’t make sense in my reading.  I discovered a second meaning of the word.

mundane |ˌmənˈdān|adjective

1 lacking interest or excitement; dull: seeking a way out of his mundane, humdrumexistence.

2 of this earthly world rather than a heavenly or spiritual one: the boundaries of the mundane world.

I realized that many times we use the spiritual practice of Lent to gain something worldly.  For example, we give up dessert for the period of Lent, invoking our faith to lose weight for the purpose of a more attractive worldly body.  I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being in great shape.  I think being fit and ready to serve is a great attribute for a spiritual life.  But I thought about my buddy St. Augustine who said, “For the good make use of this world in order to enjoy God, whereas the evil want to make use of God in order to enjoy the world.”

So, my thoughts on Lent this year lead me to ask myself – are you using a spiritual practice to gain something worldly or are you using something in the world to gain a deeper spiritual life?  What do I need to add or subtract from my life this season to grow closer to God?

It may be sleep.  A classmate of mine was asked yesterday how he gets all of his schoolwork done, serves as a student pastor, spends time with his wife, and exercises regularly.  He said that he gets up at 4:00 AM and does his schoolwork then.   He gets by on a little less sleep, but then spends his evenings with his wife.  He spent some time in the military and the discipline seems to free him from the whining that I find myself doing. As a result he is always prepared for class and is one of the most joyful people that I know.  His discipline gets some of his human weakness out of the way so that the light of God can shine through him. I am in school with some inspirational people.

I wish you a spiritually fulfilling Lenten season and hope that this can be a time to leave the mundane behind and find the light of God in your life.

Posted in Religion | Leave a Comment »

Spinning My Wheels

February 16, 2012 by Heather Burdick

I love my New Testament professor so much.  Not because he looks just like Brad Pitt (yeah, for real) but because he is giving us beautiful insights on reading the Bible, he packs the lectures with so much that I can barely type as fast as he talks, and because I am always surprised how quickly time passes in his class. But mostly it’s for letting us know that on his first assignment like the one we just completed this week, his professor gave him a “C” and said, “Good effort.”  This is someone who is a brilliant New Testament scholar.  You could feel the collective sigh of relief in the room when he said that.  Most of us at Duke have had the exact same experience of putting everything into an assignment and then getting a disappointing grade.  One thing is for sure, there is no grade inflation at Duke Divinity School. This is the first time I have ever heard the expression, “C’s get degrees.”  Knowing that it has happened to someone in his position, gave us all hope.

But, another thing he said that so completely named my current experience is that “there is a certain amount of spinning your wheels in learning to do this.”  That is it exactly.  In some ways this experience is like boot camp.  It’s the most difficult academic work I have ever done. But, I have been in difficult situations before.  Sometimes I have persevered and come out victorious and sometimes I have walked away, knowing that I really didn’t want it enough to hang in there.  At this point, there is no question that I will persevere.

People who are not religious probably think it sounds crazy when someone says that they are called by God, but I felt such a strong sense of knowing when I was called to ministry, there is no question for me that I will do whatever I need to do, learn whatever I need to learn, and become whatever I need to become to succeed in this program and fulfill the potential that God has in store for me.

Some of the common frustrations for me and my classmates is that we are all working as hard as we can in a program that they have actually told us that we won’t have time to do all of the required reading.  So, it’s not a matter of working harder or spending more time. But, there is the issue of working smarter.  One of the reasons that we procrastinate or get distracted is because we are in this stage of spinning our wheels and haven’t quite figured out exactly how to move forward more efficiently.

But, I finally figured it out this week.  I was able to identify the areas that I need to develop some better skills and I plan to use every possible resource that Duke can provide me with to help work through all of those weak areas.  If I have to hound my preceptors, professors, and the writing center staff, I’m going to push through the things that are difficult and come out stronger and smarter on the other side.

Tonight, I went from spinning my wheels to putting it in gear. A paper to write this weekend, a Greek exam on Monday, an Old Testament exam in 2 weeks, lots of reading in between…bring it Duke Divinity, I’m ready.

Posted in Christian Life, Religion | Tagged , , | Leave a Comment »

Sacred Spaces

February 12, 2012 by Heather Burdick

Goodson Chapel

I had three experiences in sacred space this weekend.  First was a workshop  on pastoral care in domestic violence situations that was very powerful and emotional.  At many times, it touched much closer to home than I was prepared for.  They played some recordings and videos of conversations with survivors and abusers.  One woman was searching for a way to stay true to her faith in living out her marriage vows, wanting to help heal her husband, and trying to keep from being a stereotype in her community, all while recovering in the hospital from injuries sustained from someone who at one point in her life had promised to love her.  In her mind, God wanted her to stay in that awful situation and help him. The hospital chaplain told her  that “God doesn’t put the sanctity of marriage over the sanctity of life,” and gave her the beautiful gift of 1 Corinthians 3:16-17, “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?  If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.”

So, abused woman, no, God has not chosen a life for you that will defile the beautiful creation in you.  God wants to live in you and have your life reflect the glory of God, not the destruction that comes from the sin of a fallen world.  And God absolutely wants healing and restoration for her husband, but he needs to find the light of God in his own life in his own journey of restoration.

The second experience was working on a New Testmament assignment on John 2:13 – 25, the cleansing of the Temple, that shows the outrage of Jesus for the place that is designated for God’s holiness, but has been turned into a marketplace. It’s probably the angriest we ever see Jesus. Jesus knows the importance of sacred space.

The third was a reading based from the book Touching the Altar that discusses the book of Ezekial who says:

Then he brought me by way of the north gate to the front of the temple, and I looked, and lo! the glory of the Lord filled the temple of the Lord and I fell upon my face. Ezekial 44:4.

Do we have sacred spaces where we feel the presence of God so completely that we fall on our face?  The author asks us, “It is not absurd to realize that if God is truly present to us, then that presence places some demands on us.  If we act according to certain rules of protocol around important human leaders, how much more does God’s present demand of our behavior?” (Bechtel, 146).

While it’s a good thing that our churches take on the role of being community centers and that many places of worship are converted from schools, movie theaters, and other buildings, we need to make sure that we have sacred spaces.  In the Old Testament, God’s holy dwelling place was portable, in a tent, with poles to carry it.  That reminds us that God is with us.  But it is also important for us to have a sacred space where we can go to feel that we are with God.  I’ve mentioned before that one of my favorite sacred spaces is the Goodson Chapel, a beautiful space in the Divinity School.  Since the first time I worshiped there, I have experienced the powerful presence of the Holy Spirit.  In this space I feel safe to let go of things that no longer fit and drink in all that I want to be. I’ve left plenty of tears on the floor there, tears of joy, release, grief, thanksgiving, insecurity, healing, frustration, power, friendship, and love.

God wants us to meet him in those sacred spaces and I’m sure, more than anything that God wants each of us to be a sacred place where God can dwell in us.

For more information about domestic violence go to www.thehotline.org or call 1−800−799−SAFE(7233).

Posted in Christian Life, Healing, Religion | Tagged | 6 Comments »

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